The last few weeks have been somewhat trying as the Lord has seen fit to allow our eldest daughter, Elisha, to continue on with the chronic cough that has been plaguing her (us) for the last 2 1/2 years. I honestly can't remember the last night we've been able to sleep without being up multiple times attending to her attacks.
Alongside her attacks, I have felt many other attacks of late, but from a more insidious source. Last week, during a time of prayer, a great & evil heaviness almost overwhelmed me, and would have, had not the the Lord enabled me to fight back with Psalm 3. Again, during prayer time yesterday, thoughts of atheism begin to creep in, as the tempter began administer his miserable & flaming darts. And yet again, in God's grace, the accuser of the brethren did not prevail.
Here are some strategic warfare lessons that I feel the LORD taught me in this most recent ordeal:
1. I desperately need others to be holding me up in prayer. As is often the case when I am being bombarded by the evil one, a brother "out of the blue" emailed me to encourage me that he was praying for me, especially as he sensed the evil one attacking me. A faithful wife who prays often for me is a great asset as well: how encouraging were Christina's texts yesterday, reminding me that I was in her prayers. God is so gracious to me! Don't be afraid to ask others to pray for you. Nothing could be more proud, and thus a great portal of entry for the evil one, than thinking you can do this on your own! Also, if the Lord lays someone on your heart to pray for, for cryin' out loud email them or text them or call them to let them know. What a blessing it is to know that God loves us enough to put us on the hearts of other people!
2. Obedience to the LORD's commands & great commission is a great way to get one's mind off of the doubts. They are a great "re-focuser". Often we struggle the most when we think about ourselves the most.
a. Last night a couple brothers (all newcomers to the church, praise God) graciously helped in the distribution (another 400) of an evangelistic book called "WHY on earth am I here?" We spent time in prayer together, doing warfare & praying for God to open up the eyes of Lethbridge to see Christ. I have always noted that often when I go out intentionally to "testify" of God's love for sinners in Christ, I am usually the most blessed recipient. Being able to pray for every house was perhaps a greater blessing to me than to those who were to receive the "coffee-table" book. This morning, already I am asking the Lord to have mercy on Lethbridge. Thus, the by-product of serving the Lord in evangelism is greater & more fervent prayer for the lost. This in & of itself draws me closer to my Strong Tower, wherein I find safety (Proverbs 18:10). John Piper's dad was correct when he said that evangelism is the greatest agent of sanctification in the Christian's life! It makes the Scriptures come alive (how often I forget the words of Jesus, wherein He repeatedly reminds us that the world hates Him, and thus those belong to Him as well [e.g. John 15]), and prayers once insipid & soul-less become fervent & desperate intercessions for the lost.
b. This week, the Lord spoke to me during a lunch time conversation with Elisha, who of late has shown a love for talking about Jesus and spiritual things. She mentioned that there are lots of people in the world who don't have enough food, and that we should pray for them. A battle then ensued, as the Holy Spirit began convicting me, through the Scriptures, to not simply pray for those who were starving, but to put my money where my mouth was. The Lord was relentless, and I sensed that as I "put it off until later", the enemy's attacks intensified accordingly. Finally, being busy, I put a reminder on my cell, which kept beeping & beeping until obedience was rendered. By God's grace, a huge burden feels as though it has been removed. What a privilege to "lend to the LORD" (Proverbs 19:17). God has created & re-created us who are Christians to be His agents of mercy & justice & compassion to the world. To not obey Him always opens us up to His Fatherly discipline, which (for me) often involves letting the tempter loose.
3. I love to read, think & ponder, often to an extreme. When Satan attacks me, it is very rarely through things like lust or greed or bitterness. Rather he uses things like "empty philosophy" (Col. 2:8) & "plausible arguments" (2:4) to make me to rationalize the existence of God, and of His glorious plan of salvation in Christ. Again, crying out with David in the Psalms (yesterday Psalms 4 & 5 were sweet) helped. But I was especially encouraged late last night, as I read through John Paton's [auto]biography, wherein he wrote the following:
"When I have read or heard the shallow objections of irreligious scribblers and talkers, hinting that there was no reality in conversions, and that Mission effort was but waste, oh, how my heart has yearned to plant them just one week on Tanna, with the "natural" man all around in the person of Cannibal and Heathen, and only the one "spiritual" man in the person of the converted Abraham, nursing them, feeding them, saving them "for the love of Jesus" - that I might just learn how many hours it took to convince them that Christ in man was a reality after all! All the skepticism of Europe would hide its head in foolish shame; and all its doubts would dissolve under one glance of the new light in Jesus, and Jesus alone, pours from the converted Cannibal's eye."
My paraphrase: the power of a changed life is more evidence to me of the grace of God than all the philosophical arguments contained in all of my philosophical books on my book shelf. How often I forget who I was before God saved me! As good 'ol John Newton wrote, "I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am." This is the evidence of the Holy Spirit: a changed life that yearns for holiness (i.e. "repentance unto life"). I see it in myself, and in brothers & sisters God has placed in my life - people, who like me, were once the vilest of sinners. The only explanation is the grace of God in Christ. For me, this is a more powerful "defense" of God than watching the greatest philosophical & intelligent debate on YouTube between the atheist & Christian.
Simple things are often the most effective. This humbles me, and thus gives all the glory to our faithful God, who not only has begun His good work, but has promised to complete it until the day Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6).
Praising my Savior all the day long,
Pastor Ryan
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